Tag Archives: news

enough with the tiny sweaters already

Cute as said tiny sweaters may be, I’ve had about enough of the whole ‘coerce knitters into making stuff’ thing. I had an article pop up in my feeds this morning that made me LOL and tut with knitterly ire at the same time.

The Tour de France will be passing through Cambridge in July this year, as part of the UK leg of the event. A cycling enthusiast wants to decorate the streets of Cambridge with miniature knitted jerseys as bunting. BBC News story here.

When pressed further he admits that a) he doesn’t knit, b) it’s not an original idea, and c) it’s not even an original idea for this Tour because Harrogate have already arranged the exact same thing.

So, let me get this straight. He wants 3000 hand-knit jerseys by July. He doesn’t knit. It’s not even his idea. And this will ‘show how different Cambridge is’.

oh yeah, sure

He claims that “knitting is in Cambridge’s DNA”. I am from Cambridge. Knitting is not a thing. Cycling is a thing. Punting is a thing. The uneasy coexistence of town and gown with occasional outbreaks of violence is a thing. But not knitting, not any more than anywhere else in the country. It’s nice that he wants to do a thing but surely you’d pick something that was actually relevant to your town?

The Harrogate campaign was launched in November, at the Harrogate Knitting and Stitching Show, with plenty of time to get things knit and sent in. They received items from at least 15 countries, enlisted the help of multiple shops and community centres to collect the jerseys, and even designed their own pattern. They received 16,000 jerseys and are now starting to string them together. A well-planned and relevant campaign.

Cambridge guy is only just thinking about this, four months before the event. He doesn’t have the council on board (they said they were ‘interested’, which in councilspeak normally means ‘please never mention this again’), he can’t do any of it himself, and he has no idea how long it will take.

I mean, it’s one thing to be all ‘oh hey, you’re a knitter, can you knit me *massively complicated or huge item*, I’ll pay you for the yarn’ and be blithely ignorant of the time investment but to want three thousand items is really pushing it. It’s not like people go oh, ‘you work in IT, I’m sure you’ll be willing to spend hours helping me set up a website for no pay.’

Oh no wait.

This isn’t even charity. People love to knit for charity, almost as much as people love to tell people that they should be knitting for charity. See the knitted penguin sweater debate that’s flying around at the moment; every knitter in existence must by now have been harangued by a well-meaning friend to knit a penguin sweater, even though sticking acrylic yarn on an oil-soaked penguin virtually guarantees spontaneous combustion. In fact that should be the new motto for the campaign:

If you wouldn’t put it on a baby, don’t put it on an oil-soaked penguin.

Hint: actually don’t put a sweater on an oil-soaked penguin. It can lead to burns, and not just because you made it out of acrylic because ‘what’s the point in using good yarn, penguins won’t appreciate Wollmeise’

Moral of the story: If you want to be different, be different. And if you want to save penguins from oil spills, don’t rush to the cutesy option of tiny sweaters, do an actual helpful thing and give the cleaning crew some cash.

I don’t think that’s *quite* what the money was for, Rev…

Party held

Rev Kinch said: “I have myself handled over £1,000 in cash.

“Somebody phoned to say that they wanted to give a donation of £500, but hadn’t got time to come into Wolverhampton.

“Would I go and meet them in a lay-by on the A449, just north of the M54?

“So I did and was given an envelope with £500 in.”

BBC NEWS | England | West Midlands | Stolen homeless presents replaced

And had a party, according to the subtitle there. Cheeky sod, that money’s for charity.

Incidentally, what’s the plural of lay-by? Lay-bys? Lays-by? I could look it up but there’s enough smart-arses going to read this that someone will know the answer.

Love you all. 😉

Am I really that out of it?

I consider myself to be fairly ‘up’ on current affairs. I recognise most major politicians by name if not by sight. I hear that Russia is being a bit naughty and testing things they shouldn’t. I know that many Northern Rock customers are a bunch of whining pathetic sheep who don’t understand money or finances. So how did the law coming into effect on the 1st October, preventing the sale of tobacco products to under 18s, pass me by so completely?

www.tobaccoagechange.co.uk

Now where in hell’s name did that come from? How has it taken a crappy orange-lettered sign in Birmingham city centre to alert me to this? I would have thought the newspapers might have at least mentioned it in the last few months, but no. Nothing. Not even the Daily Mail. I would have thought they’d at least have a ‘restricting of our freedom big brother we’re all going to hell in a handcart and it’s all nu labour’s fault and omg doesn’t that size 10 model have massive thighs’ piece on the matter for their tiny-minded, spiteful reader base to spit venom at.

It doesn’t exactly affect me, of course, but if I don’t know about it and I’m vaguely clued-up on current legislation, how on earth are the people that this is meant to benefit going to find out? There’s a lot of scally teenagers are going to kick up a massive stink. And complain about the change in the law. And if you think about it, most 16/17 year olds seem to have fake ID so they can go out and get lashed at the weekend, anyway. So it ain’t exactly going to stop them getting their greasy mitts on cancer sticks.

Incidentally, how the crap do 16/17 year olds have enough money to buy the damn things in the first place? At that age I was still on £10 a month pocket money, and that had to keep me in clothes. Hell, I’m still pretty much on £10 a month, thanks to my exorbitant bloody rent. That’s why they should be banned from buying fags, to stop the rest of us working mugs feeling bad for being poorer than a bunch of smoky teens.